Forgiveness

It was recently brought to my attention that I may not have forgiveness. I was baptized a about a year ago. I have been clean for 2 years. I fear that forgivness by God does not mean forgiveness by man. Some still see the person I once was. How do you achieve ultimate forgiveness. I repent. I think that the God has forgiven for my previous ways. People are not so easy. How do you erase the past. Impossible yes I know. I try to show with my ways I am not who I was. I stand by the title ofthis blog. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. I just wish people knew in their hearts I am worth forgiveness. My real friends know just what damage I have caused but I have choosen to go down another path. I am not making excuses for myself. There where a lot of different circumstances then.

Another part of that is why do I care what people see? I was never one who cared what people thought. Why now? Now that things are finally right in life why do I care?

I was wrong and I am sorry for anyone I wronged. I am me and that is all I can be. I want to put the past behind me, but I struggle to do so. When is repentance enough. When will they all forget so I can focus on the future?


I am finally happy, my marriage is finally great, my kids finally have the mother they where suppose to have. Why do I feel it is still not enough......