PONDERISMS

PONDERISMS ·

• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. ·
• There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
• Life is sexually transmitted.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. ·
• Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. ·
• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
• All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? ·
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?